The Equestrian Dictionary

 

As equestrians we aren't always aware that we have created our own little language. We talk amongst ourselves and it's only once we speak to outsiders we realise that maybe it's us who may have fallen so deeply into the equestrian world we can no longer assosiatie with 'normal people'. So here is a little dictionary to help you communicate with the strange other half...

 

MINTS

Normal People – Mints are for keeping my breath fresh and mouth minty

Equestrians – Something I find in all of my pockets and how I bribe my horse to do as I say. A great bargaining tool.

 

PLASTIC BAGS

Normal People – A plastic bag is something I begrudgingly pay 5p for because yet again I have forgotten my own bag for life.

Equestrians – A hideous monster that lurks, ready and waiting to pounce on my horse and I when we least expect it. Likely to cause injury, usually to me...

  

LUNGING

Normal People – Lunging is an activity I attempt at the gym and viciously regret the next day when I attempt to climb the stairs at work

Equestrians – When I’m too tired from doing my own lunges so I lead my horse round on a long rope and attempt to train him. Note the use of the word attempt

 

VINEGAR 

Normal People – Vinegar is a brown liquid people seem to either love or hate. Usually associated with fish and chips

Equestrians – A product I use as a beauty treatment when hot ragging my horse in order to make him lovely and clean

 

MUD

Normal People - Mud is something I desperately try and avoid unless of course it involves a luxury spa weekend

Equestrians – Something my horse seeks out once I have spent the past few hours cleaning him

 

SWEEPING BRUSH

Normal People – A sweeping brush is a tool I reluctantly use when my kitchen floor has passed the point of no return and desperately needs cleaning

Equestrians – Sweeping the yard is not the only us for a sweeping brush, it makes an ideal toy for keeping dogs, horses and probably small children entertained

 

MONEY

Normal People- Money is something that I use to buy the things I want, once I’ve paid my bills, obviously...

Equestrians – Money is something I don’t have as my horse sneakily manages to drain it all from my pockets before I can even lay my eyes on it

 

HAY

Normal People – I occasionally see hay when I’m driving through the countryside and see large cylinders of it in fields

Equestrians – Something I find literally everywhere other than the haynet! In my hair, in my bed, even in my bra! And why is it so long and itchy anyway?

 

CARROTS

Normal People – Carrots are something I eat when I’m trying to convince myself that they definitely cancel out all of the chocolate bars I ate earlier. They do, ok?!

Equestrians – An orange vegetable which must remain highly stocked at all times in order to ensure a well behaved horse. Supposedly.

 

HORSE BOXES

Normal People – Horse boxes are used to transport horses and are usually the reason I’m late to work on a morning. Why are they moving soo slowly!

Equestrians – The ultimate challenge. If you can manage to get your horse into one of these on demand you are either a horse whisperer or a magician. Once you have mastered it, you officially become the envy of all other horse owners.

  

   

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